The Ever List and Self Control

It is one of those frigid January days when it looks more grey than white outside. I am making a list of the things I should do today and wondering whether I will really get any of them done. This list has been piling up for about a week and I can't really figure out how I went a whole week without getting any of it done. How does that happen? Every day I would make my mental list and every day it would not get done. Not that I was just a lump on the couch all day, every day, for a week, au contraire. I just keep shuffling today's list and items keep falling off it. You know, the list that is always today's list - the ever list. Things get written down on it every day, over and over, without getting done. Like mailing things. And putting away the clean folded laundry.

But yesterday, instead of putting away the laundry, I did something new. I went rock climbing. It was fun and scary and a real test of my trust levels. It was great to feel my muscles stretch and work like they haven't in...a while....a long while. I felt a bit like a cat in a tree at times though, realising I was up higher than I thought (thank good I'm not actually afraid of heights) and having no more easy hand holds to go to and having to either take a scary difficult challenge or - let - go - of - the - wall! Which brings me to the trust thing. My belayer (not sure if I spelled that right) was a lady I have known socially for about ten years, a girlfriend of a friend or a room mate of a friend, that kind of thing. We are not very close but she is a fine person whom I get along with. She has been climbing for a couple years and knows her stuff and she was belaying me which means she was the one to keep the rope tight if I slip and let me down slowly when I had gotten to the top. I can tell you, having another person in control of your safety is a big deal. It took me a few climbs before a really believed(in my muscles) that she could and would catch me if I fell and letting go of the wall did not mean death or agonizing floor kissing. It was quite an eye opener to see just how precious control of myself is to me. But liberating to know that I could let it go, at least a little. Conclusion - I will climb again.

I thought I would be sore today but I don't seem to be. I just have to work that "get stuff done" muscle. I'm sure I'll need to soak in the tub after that, boy.